A6un's Pens

On the Horizons of Adulthood

Must be the hardest stage of life, When at around 25 I may be proud that I am sailing well on my own, both professionally and personally. But wait the people in my surroundings won’t allow me to decide upon what I want and settle upon what I have.

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Though the action is all mine I am ultimately tamed by the contagious desires fed by the flaunting acquaintances. Most of us just take the unconditional chances not knowing that we are capable of taking ‘the road not taken’. Lucky are those who constantly get the right advice at the right time and took the right action at all stages of life.

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First hardest thing is about deciding upon the job we hold. Its all that decides the way of living; Where to live, when to live and how to live. The world is getting very competitive everyday and the fear that the struggle for the existence is getting tougher makes the urge to constantly learn new things. And with the pace of this urge I should be constantly trying to get a better job than the current one, else I am lost to fragility. The first hope for a healthy situation here in a job is getting a satisfaction of accomplishment or some recognition for the work. Second is going in harmony with peers, building reputation or fame and having a cheerful workplace. The key factors for the success here are self-discovery, affirmation and acceptance.

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Second hardest thing is deciding about the friends, family, relationships and the time spent with them. We will have to decide carefully whom to stay with, whom to hangout with, whom to go close with and also importantly whom to ignore. Keep an eye on who’s giving pace for our values and get closer with them. Recognize who really cares and start socializing at the premium with those who are just curious. Keep parents, siblings and family happier by spending more time with them. The healthy situation here is having good friends in close circles apart from family, to get a feel that we are not isolated and limited.

I have just now grown to a stage where I could define all the above and I wish that I get into those healthy situations spontaneously.

The meanwhile in work life….

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I thought moving to Chennai will provide me a comfortable work atmosphere. I got into a project that has made me very irregular. My casualties continued from college life. Procrastination has again been the hindrance. Initially I was not mindful of my role, which greatly slowed me in learning my responsibility at work. Eventually my tasks turned a heck. My project manager was a genuine person and he allowed me to be on my ways and did not utter a word about my performance. But only until we were into the scorching phases of the project, he then induced me to put some extra effort and get going better. The learning process in work life has been too slow but has made a great transition. Just then a small realization arouse me ‘when reputation is lost everything is lost’ and that brought the fear. With a small sacrifice in time I did a lot of self learning and put in efforts, then came the transition phase that has unconditionally groomed me. I noticed lots of changes in personal behavior, character and ways of life in this transition.

I believe this has ‘literally’ started bringing in me the real maturity and adulthood has just now begun !

How Virtue affects Destiny

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Today when am spending times, I have got a very big doubt “Am I really destined for what I am now ?”

I have always been optimistic finding no real difference between these 2 paradigms : “ Blame yourself for what you are and praise yourself for what you are not.”
“ Praise yourself for what you are and blame yourself for what you are not. “

DESTINY

Initially I believed it was all spontaneous and everything happened according to destiny. I have been into a very clueless life, every part driven by unconditional chances and coincidences. No goal, no determination and no special efforts. But I have been placed to travel through a comfortable path by destiny. I believed that the good deeds and the prayers my parents have showered on my cause have always helped.

VIRTUE

My parents have greatly inspired me with one-thing ie, ‘Compromises’. All the learning in these years seeing them sacrifice most of their happiness for our wellness is galvanized in my blood. They always told me that making a lot of compromises in a belief that there are good times ahead will surely workout for some good cause someday. Apart from these inspirations my patience should be the best virtue I have got. I have learnt to wait and wait and regret less for all those lost chances and in the meanwhile I had the good chances.

Besides this I was thinking(but not regret) that I was unfortunate, because I have not enjoyed many things that other people in my surroundings are enjoying at this stage. This substantial thought never allowed to realize that I am already happy the way I am living and is asking for more..

The 5 year story

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Today will be the last class we will be attending in this 5yr of college life. There surely isn’t an yearning in me for losing classes from now because I got very lazy and disinterested in those “literally speakings” after I failed for a mere adaptation.

This is how the 5 year academics went

  • Year 1

    I somehow have got in. I have the pride that I am in Anna Univ. I am punctual and attend all the classes. I am good at programs. I hate maths. I hate books and studying. I can’t learn the 12th subjects again. Arrears…

  • Year 2

    I have to clear the arrears I got. I will cut classes if its boring. I am awake till 3 am for no reasons. I started bunking the first hours. Internals went down, performance still degraded. Studied even the well versed subjects with disinterest. Arrears again…

  • Year 3

    Could identify how partial staffs are. Now I have a laptop and I can watch films, browse everyday. I am afraid and I can’t present well before my class. Now I am a cat on the wall, struggled for mere pass marks. Even then I am assault. Whether its an internals or the main sem I can attend it just by preparing for 1 or 2 hours. I am not worried about the grades. Arrears retained…

  • Year 4

    I am with a project that I am familiar with. I could learn more when I did it myself. I got a new interest in ‘web design’. I knew my level and how I performed as intern. I can’t take up the simple tactics and the wicked tricks to fluorish. Somehow I have cleared my arrears…

  • Year 5

    I am worried about grades affecting placements. This time its surely luck when I ain’t fully prepared for a recruitment and I am into a job. The ultimatum of college life achieved, next what… ‘Don’t be reluctant and get into trouble. Be watchful and get away silently’…

Everyday here throttled between “lost chances” and “last chances” right from beginning. Apart from academics opportunities and chances were more ‘I could have lofted a six, swam a freestyle, twisted a dance, addressed a gathering, wrote in french, went an outing, attended a symposium’ etc, etc… There only is regrets for all those missed…

Am new to Chennai

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Incident 1

It was during my Engineering admission counselling - the first time am visiting Chennai. Mine was the first batch at 7.30 am and we were going to Anna University. I was returning back to my relative’s place after the counselling with my father.

It was 23M that we boarded. We had free seats apart so my father had to sit in front and I sat in a seat at back. When the bus reached T.Nagar, many got down and the seats got free. People were rushing to get in. A guy standing in the stop waiting to get into the bus saw the free seat in front of me and asked me to reserve the seat for him. And before I could think of it the people who rushed in sat there. The man came up to me with rage and abused with words badly. He was shouting very loudly and that made everyone nearby to look at us. I was very much embarrassed and was crying at inner heart. He moved from my seat soon and was void of his murmurings, if he would have been cursing me a little longer I would have apparently burst into tears. I wished I was near my father at that time.

Incident 2

A day in January 2nd week, during amenities purchase at T.Nagar with one of my friends. We entered the usual place “Saravana stores”. My friend pestered me that it’s not a big deal to loot something in a place like that. So he took few products and passed on a facial cream to me for hiding. So each one of us hid a product in our pockets. We had the remaining products billed. When we are about to leave the entrance of the section one of the employees stopped and said that he wanted to check us, I assume someone had noticed us in one of the surveilance cameras. He took both of us inside, checked and found the two products not in the bill. Then threatened and made us confess the whole story ourselves and made us to pay a fine twice the price of the products. He then started to dig further and asked us to tell a valid reason why we were stealing else he would inform administration and hand over us to police. My friend and myself were staring at each other not knowing what to say. Then another employee interfered and hinted we might have taken some bet from our friends or seniors. We had to just nod our heads to escape from that place.

Incident 3

A month after my first semester in college started, I had to buy books for my subjects. Some friends and relatives suggested to get books from moore market, where I can get old books and also new books pretty cheaper. I too had those “Enthusiasm disorder” as a fresh student to college and I wanted to get all the books ready far before my internal exams. My other friends of class either had those books borrowed from seniors or didn’t want to get books then, so there was no one accompanying me. So I went to moore market alone, strolled every stall and got the prices of the books. Finally entered a stall which seemed to sell at the cheapest. Took all the 6 books wanted and asked for the price. The shopkeeper asked me to pay 900 and saying that he has given a discount of 20Rs for each book. I was happy that I saved some few bucks. Heartily paid the amount and returned to hostel. Later only I came to know that moore market is a place where I could bargain as much as I wanted. When my seniors came to know that I didn’t bargain anything and I got a mere discount, they made a severe mock at me.

Incident 4

This happened during the first year. We were leaving to our hometown for some festival holidays. Me and one of my class friend had to go to egmore to board our trains. At that time I was not familiar with the places and routes in chennai. We came to Guindy station where both of us had some confusion as to which train we had to board. But he seemed a little bit familiar and said we had to take the train going in this direction, pointing in the right direction. I made some stupid guesses with the directions and said the right direction was the other one and he was wrong. Both were firm in our guesses. By that time the next train towards Tambaram had already come and was waiting in the platform. I persuaded him to take that train to reach Egmore and we got in. I didn’t know the next station too. So even after the train crossed St.Thomas Mount I thought we were on the right direction. Only when the next station(Airport) came I was shocked that we took the wrong train. I had my train from Egmore at 8 and he had to board from central around 8.30 and we were running out of time. Both of us knew we aren’t going to get our trains. We got down at the next station and rushed into the next train going in the opposite direction. As thought we couldn’t reach on time and missed our trains. We then went home by bus. Till now I remember this one as the most stupidest thing I have ever done in Chennai.

Incident 5

I did my internship in an office near Chinnamalai(Checkers hotel). I used to go and return by cycle to that place. One day when I was returning back after office this thing happened. I just would put up ear phones and hear songs when I would return everyday. I was hearing songs that day too. The always rushy road was very free that day, but I didn’t mind that. I was casually riding my cycle. Since I had my ear phone plugged in I didn’t notice any sound from outside. They had cleared the road because some V.I.P was passing by and they had put up police patrols at intermittent points all the way. Suddenly someone bet hardly with a stick on my back( thank god I had my bag), I jerked and stopped to see who it was. It was one of the police, she was a lady. She shouted at me to get down from my cycle and go by walk. She had been already shouting and had ran to me since I didn’t notice her. I casually got down and started pulling my cycle. Then again she ran to me and gave a bang on my cycle. She was on rage and scolded me badly saying can’t you see that road being cleared for VIP’s, are you mad, should I bully you and drag to earth, this, that etc. I saw that I was the only one on the road for metres and people at the distance could see her arguing with me. A higher official saw me from distance blocking the road and he shouted from there with rage. I got a little bit feared and I apologised to her and moved to the pavement.

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